We’ve all heard it said that we should fill up our cups so that we can have enough to share with others, but does anyone really know what that means? Fill up the cup with what and how? I was in the grocery store last night and saw a woman who was younger than me and clearly overwhelmed. I don’t know anything about this woman, but judging from the way she looked, her life was living her. I started thinking about myself as a younger woman with three girls who went to school 40 minutes away, riding horses and doing other activities. I had a husband who traveled at least 4 nights per week, a big house that needed cleaning, laundry that needed doing and I was trying to exercise and keep myself somewhat together. There are many women who do all of this AND work a full time job. How in the world is it possible to maintain any quality of life with so much responsibility.

During this time, I was very bitter about religion and I had next to no spiritual practice. I was often frustrated and tired most of the time and felt alone.

When Baldy and I first got married, we didn’t have much money and were trying to make ends meet so I was catering and staying up half the night, especially on holidays and there were nights when we actually had rice and peas for dinner because the money was gone until one of us got paid. As time went on our financial situation changed, but our mindsets didn’t. Life became easier financially, but not easier emotionally. From the outside looking in, things looked good, and we were fortunate in so many ways, but that didn’t seem to make me feel any better. I couldn’t really be grateful because I was filled with anger and frustration.

As I was going over all of this in my head last night, I started to wonder if there is a way to “fill your cup” in spite of exhaustion and the busyness of life. What about those women (and men) who are working so hard and still not making ends meet and feel hopeless (like I did)? What is the answer? As I said before, I found that positive thinking is not the answer and many times, not possible. What I’ve come to realize about that time in my life is that my cup was full of anger and disappointment at myself, (although I didn’t know that then), and if I could have dealt with that part, everything else would have been easier.

Every time I start to ponder these questions, it seems that I come back to the same place…when you feel worthy, when you love yourself, when your purpose is clear…everything falls into place. That doesn’t necessarily mean that things won’t be difficult, or that you won’t have bad days…what it does mean is that when there is a sense of peace inside (the cup), it spills over to every other area of your life and you begin to deal with things differently. When you believe in a power greater than yourself and you believe that power can also live within you…it gives you access to a peace that is accessible even when things aren’t going so well. It allows you to trust in a goodness that is always there instead of expecting something bad to happen. Personal, authentic power is about trust because it comes from within. Circumstantial power is being happy only when things are going well.

I was always taught that God (Source, Universe), was something out there (or up there) that could judge and punish me which was not at all appealing so you can only imagine how amazing it was for me to realize that I have the power and can create a life I want to live (and one that I don’t)!

This is really where my story takes a turn…when I found out that I had access to personal power. I’ve used the toaster analogy that comes from Abraham Hicks before, but it really is that way. If you don’t plug the toaster in, it won’t work. When you don’t plug in to the Power of the Universe, things don’t work. Before I understood this (and it took a while even after I heard it), I felt completely powerless to the thoughts going around in my head, and my situation and I was mad about everything that I had lived through. It never dawned on me that my decisions (from that powerlessness) had created and were continuing to create what I was living…good and bad. It took me so long to understand this and now that I do, my life has changed. I want to tell everyone about how this works!

At the risk of repeating myself…I’ve been going through some “stuff” lately. Things have come to the surface that needed to be healed from my past. Things that were holding me back and keeping me stuck in patterns that weren’t serving me, my marriage or my business. When it all started to bubble to the surface, it honestly stopped me in my tracks because I felt unworthy of writing these blog posts, or continuing to write personal development programs and especially to coach. I’m not saying that I ever expected to come to a place of perfection, but I just felt that I should work these things out before continuing. I’ve realized that this is far from the truth. As I continue to learn through my mentors, study, pray and medite, I have come to understand more than ever before that I’ll always be healing the bits and pieces that are buried so far beneath the surface. My responsibility is to share my imperfections and share my healing journey. Sometimes in real time and sometimes in retrospect.

When we tell our stories, we create community because we no longer feel isolated and alone in our lives and simply knowing that can help. When we tell our stories, we rise together because we share our hearts in the hopes of building others up!. When we share with our hearts, we are not “airing our dirty laundry” as my mother used to say! Never underestimate the power of sharing your story…there is someone who needs to hear it. When I was going through the pain of my husbands affair, no came to me and said they had been in the same place, instead, I was the talk of the town…everyone’s cocktail party entertainment! That also taught me quite a lesson!

I learned not to listen and focus on the task at hand, which was to get my life together. Because of that, I now believe in myself…I’ve survived so much and now I can create instead of survive. My difficult journey and the fact that I reclaimed my life proves that I can do anything! No one is chosen for a special life, we choose ourselves and then create a special life with our special gifts.

Back to the cup…

You fill your cup with what you choose to fill it with, but not until you realize that you have a choice. That’s why it’s so important to share! So many people are walking around letting the repetitive thoughts going through their minds run the show and it doesn’t have to be that way! If you have a story of healing to tell, tell it… be an example to other women that life doesn’t have to be hard and sad and hopeless. Let’s be evidence to those who don’t know they have the power to change!

Our cups can be full of love , hope, caring and respect and when that’s what we’ve put into our cups…that’s what spills out! We do this by starting a journey of becoming who we were put here to be and discovering all of the wonderful gifts we have to offer. As we start this journey, life looks different and we are able to love the life we have right now. That’s when change happens and the possibilities become apparent. When you hear someone say, be the woman you want to become…that’s what it means. If you can’t find something in your life to love and be grateful for now, it’s not going to change because I said in a prior post, desire from a place of abundance is totally different than desire from a place of lack!

Share your journey, share your story and we will rise together one woman at a time!