A Mixed Bag
Life is a never ending journey…I’ve written many times about my journey to where I am in my life today and I’m constantly trying to create the life that I desire to live in the future by staying in immersed in the present and feeling appreciation for what is while still desiring more!
I believe we were put on this earth to continue to learn and grow into the truth of who we are at our essence which is a unique expression of the source of all things! While that may sound daunting to some, I think it’s comforting because - it takes the pressure off, the pressure to finally and definitively arrive at a point in life. When we realize that we are constantly growing, difficult situations and feelings make more sense. Those situations are there to guide us along our way and teach us as we go and as we grow.
I would hate to think that I’d come all this way only to stay here for the rest of my life! I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with my life, but evolution is the reason we’re here. The Universe is constantly moving forward. Everything is evolving!
That’s the thing with desire…it never goes away and you can’t squash it because we were meant to always want more. More living, more love, better relationships, unique experiences, and yes, more financial abundance. If the goal is to serve the highest good with our growth, it’s really not even possible to mess it up, although there may be days when it feels like we’ve messed it all up!
I would not be the woman I am today if I hadn’t gone through the things I’ve been through and for that I am so grateful.
Desire from a place of gratitude. It’s so important to consciously practice gratitude and stay in that FEELING of gratitude as much as possible because when we desire from a place of gratitude, the Universe and Law of Attraction only bring us more to be grateful for!
My question at this point in my life is…what am I trying to express about myself to the world? How can I be myself and let that expression work to serve others. What is emerging as I grow into more of who I was put here to be? How can I lead myself every day in my continual desire to become more?
Often, my self expression comes from my love of beauty…beautiful surroundings in nature, beautiful cities (Paris), a beautifully decorated home, clothes that make me feel beautiful, healthy, delicious and yes, beautiful food. As I become more confident in shining my individual light, it becomes easier to express myself through those things. Learning to love myself has given me permission to be who I am without apology and that feels so freeing.
Freedom, is the ultimate reason to be self expressed. We all want the freedom to live our lives in a way that feels good, and that is different for everyone. True freedom begins with understanding that we are always creating our lives and we can create anything. True freedom is not having to ask for permission to be exactly who we are. Let me explain…and this is the crux of why I sat down to write this!
I’m probably mostly addressing women here, so keep that in mind as you read…
As women, we all have a strength inside of us, an innate feminine wisdom that, if nurtured can guide us in the most beautiful way. Unfortunately, for reasons that I don’t have time to get into here, that innate wisdom, that voice of intuition, has often been silenced, or at least made to seem insignificant. When we can’t hear our intuition, we are not free, we are controlled by outside circumstances and this applies to everyone.
As I was growing up, I was taught that I wasn’t good enough, capable enough or smart enough by (for the most part), well meaning people. That led me to stop listening to my unique voice. My unique voice was replaced by the ringing in my head of all the things OTHER people had told me. I began to listen to those voices instead of my own and they got louder and louder.
It honestly took me until about two years ago to fully realize this and since then, I’ve grown so much. What is happening now is that the little girl inside of me that had no confidence and was so scared and insecure is being replaced by a woman who knows her worth and wants to share her wisdom with others.
So once again, I come back to the question, because I still desire so much more…what is trying to emerge in my life, not from a place of a scared little girl who is just learning that she doesn’t have to be that way, but from the knowledge that I am so powerful and the gift of my life lessons has shown me my power .
I started to understand the power within me as I began to be willing to surrender, to trust, to let go of the past and all of those voices inside my head. By listening to the stillness and knowing that I always have access to the Wisdom of the Universe, I was able to replace the voices of society, of my parents, of that teacher from the 4th grade…with my own voice. The voice that comes from the Source of all things, is the voice that also lives within me. We must reclaim our individual God given power and listen to our Wisdom if we want to see change in this world. This is why, learning to love ourselves is the greatest gift we can give. Learning to tune out the noise of the world and tune in to the broadcast of Source. Power is the strength found in surrender and silence and that is not the definition most people think of.
Self love comes from within. Self love doesn’t give us power, it shows us how to reclaim the power that was always there. I’m not talking about power from external things, I’m talking about the power of inner strength and confidence…confidence, simply because you are. This is the I AM. I am capable, I am loving, I am uniquely created, I am beauty, I am love, I am…me, and knowing that gives me authentic Power that no one can take away.
Learning this has been the greatest gift. I still have to nurture that insecure little girl at times and really spend time remembering who the hell I am, but now, at least I know to do it and now I know that I AM because I’m here!
. I have been willing to step out, even when it felt so frightening because I have been given a gift and I feel a responsibility to help other women rise!
I said it in my last post and it’s such a re-occurring theme in my mind right now, but beauty is important and when we feel beautiful on the inside and let it shine to the outside, we have no choice other than to create beauty in the world.
Once again, I’m combining big inspiration with a little bit of fashion. This is an outfit that makes me feel beautiful. It’s a masculine look with pearls to soften. It’s comfortable but polished, it’s soft and strong at the same time because of the leather and cashmere. The red is a sign of strength as well as a celebration of the holiday season. The shoes represent practicality and luxury! This outfit is a mixed bag, just like me.
More than anything, I wish for you, that as you grow and learn and evolve into more of your true self every day that you will feel the freedom to express yourself, unapologetically to the world!
